Why Do I Always Forget?

Why do I always forget that drinking Mt. Dew for breakfast is a bad, bad idea? Now I can't sit still, I'm doing that crazy bouncing leg thing with both legs and I keep air guitaring.

What is wrong with me?

"My heart feels like an alligator. Turn up that goddamned radio. Volume! Clarity! Bass! We must have bass! What is wrong with us?! ARE WE GODDAMN OLD LADIES??!!"

*ahem*